决定

这一次，我又再次的狠狠伤害了他但也同时的伤害自己。
我真的很想他，从来就没有人就对我那么好。
就因为这个残酷的世界，金钱挂帅的世界
我做出了一个意想不到的决定，就是与他分手。
四年多的感情就这样结束了。

已经过了几个星期，我忘不了他。
任何事情都可以让我想起他，我们拥有太多美好的回忆了。
有时我在想我为什么那么懦弱，为什么不能坚持下去。

这几天看见许多FB的link说什么好男友好老公的条件，
他全部都符合了。
身边的朋友，个个都觉得很可惜。
但是我又不想伤害我的父母，
就这样，再一次的伤害他。

我多么想你出人头地以后再回来找我。
可是我知道我们已经不可能了，经过这一却，我们已回不到过去。
希望你可以找到一个比我好的女孩，懂得珍惜你。
不要因为我的自私，让你觉得爱已没有了意义。

好想告诉你，我想你，不知你过得怎样了。

Confused

Today, I dont know why start to miss him.....
It make me EMO.
I feel not used to it which I din receive any msg from him.
So i try to text him at first he got reply, but at the end he say tired and went to slp d.
At this moment, I really feel abit sad.
I just confused, dont know whether is I used to be with him that why i start to miss everythings or I still love him.
I really confused with what I had decided, whether I will regret or not.
Did I make wrong decision?
I really dont know.

Now I start with another guy.
Its total a new experience, which is totally different with what the first him treated me.
Sometimes I feel so uncomfortable, I dont dare to anyone abt it to avoid ppl accusing me that " told you! u are making wrong decision, u will regret!"

But if I regret, I really feel shame to be back with him.
I just feel that i dont deserve him to be so good to me, cos i already hurt him twice, very deeply.

I admit that I not a good girl which deserve him to be good with me.
I know he is still love me he will wait for me...

Will I regret?
Maybe...